When Granny Went Home

Last Wednesday while in class, I received a message from my daddy, saying granny has passed on. It took quite a while to register. And when it did, it hit me real hard. I packed up and told aijia briefly what happened and just left. I just needed to return to hall to vent my frustrations on the keyboard. I didn't know how long I spent tearing in hall but it just flowed. And even banging on the keyboard didn't help.

After I got a hold on my emotions, I cabbed down to granny's place. When mummy brought me into the room, I almost refused to open my eyes cause I didn't want to see granny lying there, lifeless. I was just numbed by everything.

I hated myself cause the Sunday before, my parents went to visit her and I didn't go along because mummy felt I needed more rest as I came home at 4am the day before and woke up for church at 8am. They said, "Nevermind lor, you rest at home. We'll bring you to visit her another day." There is now no more, no more other days. It'll probably be my biggest regret in my life.

I have no pictures of her to post here, but she's the most wonderful granny.
We all call her popo.

I remember popo used to live with us. I was then in nursery. She'll wake me up early in the morning for school and walk me to school everyday. She fetched me from school as well. And I, being spoilt and whiney would want her to carry me on her back cause I was lazy to walk. She obliged every single time.

I remember how popo used to protect me from the cane whenever my mummy was angry with me. I'll run to her for protection. I feel safe in her presence.

I remember how popo first bought haw flakes for me to try. I fell in love with it at the first taste. And later on when she didn't live with us anymore, she still had them with her. It came in a small tube and she'll break it evenly into 3 for us 3 siblings to share everytime we came to visit. Now, haw flakes reminds me of her. Daddy likes it too.

I remember how she gave us $10 to share among ourselves each time we visited. She'll tell us to use it to buy some snacks we like. I wished I had saved the money instead.

I remember how she used to sew pillowcases and bolster cases for us. She even made the small pillows and the bolsters herself. Even after she had difficulty threading the needle through the eye of the needle, she'll have someone to do it for her and then continued to sew for us.

I remember how when I used to call her after we lived apart, she'll never fail to ask, "kaifang, chi bao le ma."(kaifang, have you eaten?) Popo cooks really well. I miss having the preserved vegetable she makes. It's so good, it'll make you turn vegetarian.

I remember how she used to teach me to sing folksongs from China. There were some that were to insult people and we'll just laugh together about it after singing. I can't remember how to sing them now. But I will always remember her laughter and the pat on my back following it.

I remember how she holds my hand whenever I came to visit. "Kaifang," she calls, and smiles at me.

I remember how she loves it when the whole family gathers together on her birthday or mother's day. She'll never fail to be there whenever the family gathers.

I remember how the family used to book a chalet at least once every year. The cousins will all play some police and thief game. There was this one year we were all at St John's island. It felt nice having the whole family there.


Popo, I'm glad you are no longer suffering. I just wanted to let you know that I miss you. As days past, people may talk about you less and less, but you'll always have a place in my heart. You are the best granny. I love you.